


Limerical Losers Club Valentines

by Tafadhali



Series: The Bloody Awful Poetry Series [5]
Category: IT (1990), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Architect Ben Hanscom, Canon - IT (Book/Movie/Miniseries Combination), Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Embedded Images, Gen, Humor, Let Ben Hanscom Be Thicc 2020, Librarian Mike Hanlon, Limericks, Stanley Uris Loves Birds, Stanley Uris Loves His Hot Wife and Also Birds, Stanley Uris Loves Patricia Blum Uris, The Turtle CAN Help Us (IT), Valentine's Day, or to quote my favorite tag that i can't canonize:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 12:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22716145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tafadhali/pseuds/Tafadhali
Summary: Yes, violets are blue, roses redBut that's all already been saidAnd so for each LoserThis AO3 userHas written a limerick instead(Happy Valentine's Day!)
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Series: The Bloody Awful Poetry Series [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/10216
Kudos: 7





	Limerical Losers Club Valentines

**A Reply to Hanscom (1958)**   
_Beverly Marsh_

> Some poetical verse is inspired  
> By a passion for January fire  
> My heart burns there too  
> But I can’t write haiku  
> So I rhyme for the Bevs I admire

****

**LET 👏BEN 👏BE 👏THICC 👏YOU 👏COWARDS**   
_Ben Hanscom_

> Good things I could tell you aplenty  
> 'Bout our favorite architect, Benny  
> What sets him apart  
> Is the size of his heart  
> Still—LET BEN BE THICC 2020!

****

**Hi Ho Silver!**   
_Bill Denbrough_

> There’s nothing to give you a thrill  
> Like careening with him down a hill  
> Why don’t you ask Mike  
> ‘Bout that ride on his bike  
> He found out why they call him Big Bill

**The Librarian Your Man Could Smell Like**   
_Mike Hanlon_

> The reference desk up in Derry  
> Received in its inbox this query:  
> "What's in the town water  
> That makes our men hotter,  
> And can I check you out at the library?"

**Braver Than You Think**   
_Eddie Kaspbrak_

> Though he was cut down in his prime  
> I'd still blow him for a dime  
> What's in his inhaler?  
> Not camphor and vapor—  
> It's battery acid, you slime!

**R + E**   
_Richie Tozier_

> A fix-it for Valentine’s Day  
> ('Cause chocolate and flowers are cliché):  
> Rich confesses his feelings  
> And the Turtle CAN fix things  
> Eddie lives and they're happy and gay!

**Stanley Uris Likes Long Baths and Getting Caught in the Rain**   
_Stanley Uris_

> I’m not such a sociopath  
> To write of Stan’s fondness for baths  
> What he loved in life  
> Were birds and his wife  
> (Along with bell-bottoms and math)

**Author's Note:**

> 1) I can absolutely provide receipts for Stan's love of bell-bottoms, do not test me. 
> 
> 2) Open challenge for anyone to make the Eddie limerick work with his more colorful book line: "Battery acid, fucknuts!"
> 
> 3) These have been [cross-posted on my sister/partner in rhyme and my IT sideblog](https://whythebirdsteve.tumblr.com/tagged/losers-club-limerick-valentines), with slightly fancier graphics!


End file.
